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SG, Chapter Eleven


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#1 Casca

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 11:29 AM

Since 99.9% of the chapter is new material, I've decided a new thread is in order. Discuss and review here please. I'd love to hear your opinions on the new material.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
~C

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#2 asharawkto

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 01:08 PM

Casca,

I JUST finished reading this chapter.  Maybe 30 seconds ago and I can't be responsible for whatever inane rambling I'm about to leave in this thread as I think I'm still in shock.  Completely and totally worth the 6 months.  Without a doubt.  

As for the chapter...Hahahaha, well, you did warn us with the author's note that there would be more angst.  But...just...argh!!!  It was fantastic!  You really do deserve a review that was well thought out instead of this so I'll try to come back and do this right but for now:

I love your ability to create an atmosphere without needing huge descriptive paragraphs (something I can not do).  Your description of the noise level in the shop when Ginny and Sarah were in the basement gathering more stock felt so real.  The busy shop, the gloominess of Grimmauld Place, the quiet morning stillness of the empty park- all of it paralleled the chapters emotions so well.  

And speaking of emotions!!!  Gah!  I love love LOVE the fight Ginny and Harry had, especially in the beginning where Harry was just hollering at her and taking his anger out on her.  I could discuss their interactions for many incoherent paragraphs.  I can't believe it, I can't believe what you do to your poor Ginny.  Just...Yeafiojadsflkjweoifjre!!!!!  This chapter is amazing, I got so caught up with it, I love it and the new direction this Seeking Ginny is taking.  Perhaps on a later read I could find something to constructively critique but I'm quite useless now.  Just thanks, this is brilliant and I hope my shock wears off soon.

-Asha

#3 yclare

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 01:58 PM

That was extremely satisfying.

#4 Leonie

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 02:53 PM

Oh wow!  Well that was definitely worth the wait.

The way you have written Harry is brilliant.  It would seem right that he is taking the world and all responsibilities and blame on his shoulders.  His obsession with the case, his sleepless nights - it all makes sense.  When you compared him to Sirius I got cold all over.  It was both an inspired comparison and a terrifying one.

As to Ginny, she is definitely coming across as more assertive and strong.  She was oozy 'capable' during the opening scene in the shop, and then a million things during her comfrontation with Harry.  (I will have to read it again to go into more detail - I am still feeling like I am in a whirlwind from that chapter.)

You set your scenes very well.  I could hear the chaos in the shop, and you could cut the tension with a butter knife in Grimmauld Place.  I really appreciated Ginny's dillema about joining her friends or going to Harry.  You handled that exceptionally well.  

The little things that just help embroider your story are very good too.  Even just the way you mention her sitting up in the chair.  It all helps to add to the tone and setting of your story.

Thanks for that.  I going to say the dreaded now, and state that I simply cant wait for the next chapter... lol.

#5 chuckles

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 04:20 PM

I am truly and utterly beside myself :blink: ..

The emotions this chapter envoked...

I'll come back when I'm more coherent..

Well done Casca ;)
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#6 yclare

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 04:45 PM

So now I have some actual thoughts on the chapter.

I've been trying to wrap my head around the issue of Ginny's "selfishness" as  explored in this chapter.  As we all know, Harry has a "saving people thing," and I think that most people would agree that, although it's very noble, this kind of attitude can be extremely self-destructive.  Casca has shown us this quite clearly.  Ginny, on the other hand, has a "saving Harry thing."  It's something I can relate to, because in my adolescence/early adult years, I definitely had a habit of falling for guys that needed "fixing" - not an uncommon character trait among young women.

Anyhoo, the whole premise of this story is that Ginny recognizes her own self-destructive behavior and makes a big change in her life by going to Paris.  From my experience, I can only say that I think this was the best possible decision for her to make.  Yet, Harry accuses her of being selfish for only being there for him when she  saw something to gain from it.  For me, this brings up the question of the nature of their "friendship" before Ginny left for Paris.  Casca has given us a couple of hints - has definitely intimated that Ginny was around for a lot of late night angst sessions, and that she made a point of trying to be there for Harry.  What I would be curious to find out is to what extent Harry was ever there for Ginny.  Was their relationship a two way street?  Could Ginny discuss her problems with Harry?  If not, then it seems somewhat unfair of Harry to expect that he could write to Ginny to unload his problems on her, knowing that she had left England specifically to get away from (and over) him.  Yeah, he was going through a hard time, but it indicates to me that he may have taken Ginny a tad for granted.  The whole tone of the prologue suggests that Harry had little use for intimacy with Ginny when things were going well.  (That sounds harsher than I mean it to.  It's just that, if they did have those moments of closeness during the war, it's odd that they seem more like friendly acquaintances during the prologue.)  

I guess what I would love to know (and this just occurred to me) is what Harry was thinking before he sent that letter.  Was it a knee-jerk "I'm hurting and Ginny will make me feel better" type of deal, or did he struggle with the issue, knowing that hearing from him might be difficult for her?  And in the letter, did he just unload his problems, or did he tell her how much her support meant to him?  I guess all of these questions relate back to how Harry really feels about Ginny, which presumably we'll find out soon enough.  (Well, not soon enough for me.  I wish I could read all of it right now)

So, I'm of two minds about the entire story at this point:  On the one hand, I find the angst and romance utterly delicious.  On the other hand, if this was real life, and a friend of mine was in Ginny's position, I would definitely advise her to stay far far away and find a nice, drama-free boy who can appreciate her for everything she has to offer.  Fortunately, this is fiction, and I can enjoy the intensity of the drama knowing that it will all work out in the end.

Just my twenty-seven cents.

#7 Sescja

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 04:55 PM

Casca,

You have delievered another wonderful chapter, beautifully re-penned, and yet again, you leave us with another yearning for the next chapter.  I have this tremendously huge pond of drool shorting the keyboard.  I loved the first version of the story and still yearn to see how that would have ended. And I love the way the story has been reworked in this. Keep up the GREAT work!!!
Sescja
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#8 Isabeau

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Posted 23 September 2006 - 07:08 PM

Wow, that was painful in its accuracy.  You got the emotions down absolutely right, which made it fantastic to read while also, obviously, uncomfortable.  You are a brilliant writer Casca.  Absolutely brilliant.  I'll actually write a review when I'm a little less scattered, just wanted to pass on my appreciation.  Thank you for sharing your amazing talent and seriously consider writing an origional book to publish.  

Struck somewhat dumb
Isabeau
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.                  
Paradise Lost by John Milton

#9 Britta

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Posted 24 September 2006 - 03:18 AM

This chapter was definitely worth the wait!!! ( I do hope, though, that the next one will be up a bit faster ;) )

Ginny's character fits well with what we know of her up to HBP. She can be quite forceful and does not shy away from confrontations if she thinks it helps the other person. She seems pretty realistic, her actions as well. I can understand, why she blocked out Harry while she was in Paris.

The content of this chapter reminded me of Jo Rowling's comment in the TLC/MN interview after the HBP release:
"She's tough, not in an unpleasant way, but she's gutsy. He needs to be with someone who can stand the demands of being with Harry Potter, because he's a scary boyfriend in a lot of ways. He's a marked man. I think she's funny, and I think that she's very warm and compassionate. These are all things that Harry requires in his ideal woman."

I must confess, that I had kind of forgotten about Harry's case and his hospital stay. I'll just have to reread Chapter 10 again :D .

#10 ChaliceInnana

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Posted 24 September 2006 - 09:19 AM

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


Thank you!!!!!!!!


That was just brilliant! I loved the kiss, loved the fight! LOVED IT!

#11 dancing_in_the_mushrooms

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Posted 24 September 2006 - 09:20 AM

Firstly: Yes - ANGST! I'm sure a lot of people saw "more pain and angst and less fluff than before" and thought something along the lines "Noooo..." but I assure you that it made me do a happy dance.

I really think you're doing the best thing. Re-writing what you've already done without changing the plot always seemed to be something that was way too difficult, which wouldn't get you the best result in the end. This seems much healthier. Also - new content!

I know I'm going to have a lot to say about this chapter, so I'm going to review as I go along:

...

I love the font you use. It makes me so happy.

...

Quote

...they wanted to finish as soon as was wizardly possible.
I love things like this. You do it so well, it's not clunky, just clever. And very JKR!

...

Oh dear. It seems that I stopped reviewing because it was just so ... urngh. TOO GOOD. Poor Ginny. Poor, poor Ginny.

I was lost from here onwards:

Quote

"Oh, no that's right… I wasn't a burden." His voice was soft. His eyes were mean. "I was never a burden on you...particularly. Isn’t that right, Ginny?"
I think I stopped breathing at that part.

One thing I noticed:

Quote

"Then get the hell out."
Using "hell" in that way is a bit of an Americanism. "What the hell?" is fine, "Get the hell way from me/out" or "The hell you're not!" aren't used for some reason.

Anyway ... brilliant. I loved it.  :D

#12 mercurystar725

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Posted 24 September 2006 - 09:36 AM

So, just finished reading, and like everyone else, am still feeling a bit like a tornado just passed by and I'm trying to recover from it. In a good way.  ;) I loved the emotions, my eyes welled up a couple of times right along with Ginny's. I definitely think you've improved on this story, and though I loved the old one, I am very much looking forward to reading this one. Your writing is absolutely superb. Thanks so much for sharing and for all the love and hard work you put into your story. Many find rewrites and long breaks to be annoying, but I just find the wait is always well worth it.

As for a review of this chapter, it's hard for me to put into words. I must agree with those who find you create your scenes so well that I feel like I'm right there. So cliche, but true. Everything flows so well together, nothing feels abrupt or out of the blue. And now you've really got me wondering about Harry and Ginny's past and, specifically, how Harry felt about her leaving since we now know that he knew why she had left.

And I must say, this chapter finally made me feel Grimmauld Place as I think Jo intended us to feel about it. I knew it was supposed to be this terrible, sad and cold place, but this chapter made me feel it. Awesome job!

#13 rem

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Posted 24 September 2006 - 03:05 PM

Wow... just wow... I really don't have many words for you.  I reread the entire piece today so that I could fully appreciate this new chapter... and let's just say that it was fully appreciated.  Like everyone else has said - well worth the wait.  The only thing I *almost* regret about reading it is that I am dying for more.  Seriously though Casca - best chapter yet.  The emotions were riveting and everything about it was so vivid.  Great job!!!

#14 herekittykitty!

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Posted 24 September 2006 - 10:54 PM

Wow - wonderful! I LOVE angst, so I'm extra happy with the direction you're taking. You're so good at it!

As others have already noted, you're really excellent at creating setting. Grimmauld Place is absolutely perfect, and I  love all the descriptions you've given thus far re: life for the gals at Lotion Lady.  

Excited to read the rest! update SOOOOOOON

#15 ker

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Posted 25 September 2006 - 12:03 AM

Wow, Casca.  That was INTENSE.  I was at first hesitant on reading a whole different story, but reading it just halted all my reservations.  The characters are written so well, with hidden emotions and reactions that have a strong effect on the reader.  Thanks so much for updating, and can't wait for the next chapter!

#16 ljusgestalt

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Posted 25 September 2006 - 08:32 AM

Jeez, I just realized I haven’t been online for about a year and a half. And I’m usually no good at commenting your work, Casca, but I really do feel the need to after this marvellous chapter.

First, when I read the author’s note “with more pain and angst and less fluff than before”, I thought for sure I was going to cry (the previous chapters weren’t even fluffy enough for me). But then I began reading and…WOW! This was just simply and brilliantly…amazing. It really gripped me, this one.

What I truly loved was the intensity of the whole Harry/Ginny scene. It felt almost like a stage play (but much more realistic), two persons being trapped in a room with no connection to the world outside, us being there with them without their knowledge. Harry’s desperation, the way he hurls his frustration and fear onto Ginny and also how she won’t relent to any of his harsh words. And so the kiss - ah the kiss! That was, well, wonderful. Again this despair, how they cling to each other for dear life and how he pushes her away. The embarrassment and also the utter chock caused by his rejection, it was written with such delicacy. I could feel what Ginny felt.

I really do think that most girls can relate to Ginny’s fix-it syndrome (as I normally call it) in one way or the other. There sure as hell is something with these deep and brooding guys – why does the urge to help appear at instant? This also makes me wonder if Ginny once again is on the path of destruction. Hopefully she is strong enough to manage (I think you’ve given us proof of that, Casca), but supposedly it all has a prize…ah, not too speculate too much, it makes me sound like a sh**ty amateur detective novelist (and we wouldn’t want that, would we now?).

Also, this chapter evokes all these questions (yclare gave a pretty summation). Next chapter, yes please!


And as for angst instead of fluff – thank you! This new direction sure is leading somewhere…and I love it!

#17 WeasleyJules

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Posted 25 September 2006 - 01:44 PM

I had to register today and come onto the boards to finally leave a review.  You've gotten so many nags over the months over getting a new chapter that I think it's important now that we have a new chapter that we try to convey how happy we are with your work that you'll continue to be inspired in some way to finish the story.   I've been following this story since you put out Chapter 5, I think, and I've been lurking on your boards for months hoping to catch this new chapter once (if) it came out. ;)

Fantastic work!!!  I love how you made Harry not quite so unwitting and more conscious of his actions.   I love how Ginny confronts him although she knows that it's a bad idea...or at least the most rational part of her mind is saying to her.  I was shocked when she kissed him, but not suprised at Harry pushing her away.  He knew that if anything happened at that time that it would happen for the wrong reasons and so he does still care for Ginny's well-being there.  I sure hope that he didn't permanently destroy those sleeping potions that Ginny brought cause I have a feeling that once he gets a good bit of sleep in, his head can clear and he can then solve the case.  You say that you rewrote the chapter to better reflect the HBP Ginny, but I think you did an equally great job in rewriting Harry as well.  Great job!!!!!

#18 parakletos

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Posted 25 September 2006 - 06:02 PM

This is easily my favourite chapter so far. I look forward to more being posted soon  :D

#19 asharawkto

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Posted 25 September 2006 - 08:29 PM

Poor Ginny.  Really.  She had so many opportunities to run away, she had five years of her experiences in Paris to back her and the logical part of her brain warning her to leave Harry alone and she chose not to.  I think she really is good for Harry and she loves to help him but its all at her expense.  I guess Paris taught Ginny to grow into her own person which is why she took the chance with her heart in this chapter that prologue Ginny didn't have the courage to do.  

I completely agree with yclare when she says

Quote

if this was real life, and a friend of mine was in Ginny's position, I would definitely advise her to stay far far away and find a nice, drama-free boy who can appreciate her for everything she has to offer.
but because Casca is writing this story and the pairing is H/G, I know that Harry could grow to be as good for Ginny as she is for him.  Its just painful to watch Ginny go through the hearbreak until then.  

As for Harry's character, I find him more relatable in this version.  Sure, when Ginny first came over he was acting like a barbarian, throwing food and generally being an @$$, but his actions made sense when he explained himself later.  Also, after Harry calmed down, I couldn't help but respect him a bit more for pulling himself away from the kiss.  There was really no way that kiss could've ended with Ginny's heart and emotions still intact.

I'm interested to see how Casca is going to have them get past this, especially with Harry's overwhelming guilt complex.  But post-Paris Ginny seems far more self assured and strong that pre-Paris Ginny and I'm confident she won't allow herself to be down and out for long.

#20 greenlady

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Posted 27 September 2006 - 11:16 AM

Wow.

In as few as possible words I would like to say that that was INTENSE. I took a food break from what I was working on to "just read the first part while I'm eating" and of course had to read the entire chapter through. And the end again.

Will hopefully have some time in the near future to come back and leave a proper review, but for now: THANKS.

~ greenlady
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